Individual Differences: How a Kindergarten Teacher Supports Different Children 🌱

Jennifer Zhou Nov 18, 2025

Today, we interviewed a kindergarten teacher, Daniel McParland, who has worked with many children across different countries. He shared simple but powerful strategies for helping active kids, shy kids, language learners, and children with different personalities. Here is what we learned:

A conversation with an international kindergarten teacher in China

Supporting Very Active or Easily Distracted Children

Daniel told me something that stuck with me:

“The boys here are really active. The best way to guide them is rewards and clear consequences.”

He doesn’t punish them in a harsh way. Instead:

• He gives rewards when they listen

• And small consequences when they ignore rules

• But he always gives them extra attention, because many of these kids don’t get the emotional support they need at home

He said:

“These kids often just need more care and attention.”

This really changed how I look at “misbehavior.” Sometimes it’s not the child being “bad,” it's the child needing support.

How He Helps the Really Quiet, Shy Kids

Daniel used my sister Lettie as an example: she used to be SO shy, but now she’s confident.

His approach is simple but genius:

• Give shy kids leadership roles

• Treat the role as something important and special

• Make them feel responsible and capable

He told me:

“Saying ‘good job’ is not enough for a shy kid. They need to feel trusted.”

Lettie drawing in art class

This leadership method actually pushes them out of their comfort zone in a gentle way.

High Achievers Get a Different Kind of Support

Daniel turns high-achieving kids into “little teachers.”

He lets them:

• Help classmates

• Lead group tasks

• Explain ideas to others

He said:

“Being smart is not enough. You need to learn how to talk to people.”

Honestly, this is so true. Academic success means nothing if you can’t communicate.

Kids With Limited English Skills

Since Daniel teaches English in China, A lot of kids struggle with communication.But he doesn’t freak out or force them to speak perfectly.

Instead he:

• Uses body language

• Uses emotion (kids feel your mood before your words)

• Works with the Chinese teaching assistant

• Does 1-on-1 explanations in simple words

• Lets stronger students help weaker ones

“If the teacher is calm and supportive, the kids respond the same way.”

I loved this part — it shows how emotional climate matters more than grammar.

Helping Kids With Social Conflicts & Friendships

Daniel said the girls were pretty easy (lol).The boys? A whole different story.

His strategy:

• Put kids together who normally wouldn’t choose each other

• Give them shared goals (like group tasks)

• Let certain groups “win” sometimes to boost confidence

• Rotate groups so no one is stuck in the same comfort zone

He said:

“Winning together makes them bond.”

It’s such a smart way to grow friendships through activities, not just by telling them to “be friends.”

A Simple Comparison of Daniel’s Strategies

(NotebookLM, 2019)

Conclusion

Talking with Daniel made me realize how everything we learned in Developmental Psychology and the book How Children Develop (7th ed.) shows up in real classrooms. The book talks a lot about individual differences, like how kids vary in temperament, confidence, attention, and learning styles (Siegler et al., 2024). Daniel described those differences almost exactly the same way.

The energetic kids in his class needed structure, clear expectations, and consistent rewards. The quieter ones needed gentle pushes into leadership roles so they could build confidence. This really fits the idea that children grow best when adults match support to their unique traits instead of treating everyone the same.

He mentioned how some unfocused kids simply needed more attention or emotional care, which connects to the book’s point that a child’s behavior often reflects both stable traits and home environment. Changing the environment can shift a child’s development even just by giving more warmth or one-on-one time.

What stood out most is that Daniel cares more about helping kids communicate, make friends, and feel confident than about pure academics. That aligns with the book’s idea that early differences in social skills, self-regulation, and confidence can shape long-term outcomes just as much as IQ.

Theories are not abstract. Teachers like Daniel are using these ideas every day without even naming them.

References

Google. (2019). NotebookLM. Google.com. https://notebooklm.google.com/

Siegler, R. S., Saffran, J., Eisenberg, N., Gershoff, E., & Leaper, C. (2024). How Children Develop (7th ed.). Macmillan Higher Education.